There are more compassionate ways of being in the world and it become possible when we relate to others face-to-face, voice-to-voice, and body-to-body. It is as simple as that. Relationships with others bring us in contact with that which transcends the ordinary. This is one way to reverse the erosion of empathy and to make empathy great again. It is as simple as that. (https://bodytheology.co.za/2018/11/22/make-empathy-great-again/ ) Through compassionate relationships, we can overcome the things that separate us and embrace the Otherness we fear. It is as simple as that.

It also happens through the telling of stories – and the deep listening to those stories.

There is a field of study called Interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB). It aims to paint a picture of human experiences and the dynamics of change across the lifespan by focussing on ways in which human beings are formed and transformed through relationships. It is especially interested in the processes by which neural systems shape human patterns of attachment and how these attachments shape neuron patterns. It looks at how relationships transform the architecture and functioning of the human brain. Louis Cozzolino, a key figure in IPNB defines it as “the study of how we attach and grow and interconnect throughout life” (Andrea Hollingsworth).

Empathy is derived from the German word “Einfühlung”, or “to feel into”. It is about the capacity to be affected by, and share in the state of another in such a way that we maintain self-awareness, even as we “feel into” the other’s experience. Sharing does not mean fusing with. Interpersonal attunement in IPNB refers to the experience of a sense of emotional attunement with another attentive individual. It is mindful awareness (intentional, nonjudgmental attentiveness to one’s own thoughts, feelings and bodily states in the moment), which has the possibility to change previous patterns of fear, inflexibility and reactivity to newly integrated patterns of calm, adaptability and balance. IPNB suggests that learning not to fear and learning to love are mutually conditioning neurobiological realities, and that relationships of safety and trust are integral to the emergence of both. Fear, also the fear of compassion, is primal and powerful and inversely related to compassion.

IPNB points to storytelling as a key means of neural regulation and integration. The hypothesis is that the practice of telling and listening to narratives became an evolutionary strategy to allow the brain to grow further in size and complexity. Research reveals strong links between mental health, emotional regulation, secure attachments, and coherent narratives. Cozzolino writes that narratives provided a tool for the brain to bringing together multiple functions from diverse neural networks for emotional and neural integration.

Storytelling holds the potential to raise us to greater levels of concern for the pain of others, and to stand in solidarity with others by weaving their stories into our own stories.

Note: Image designed by echostories.com